Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Mental Lapse

The city has been quiet this last month, and domestic duties have kept me occupied. In order to maintain a low profile, we're changing the location of our headquarters. The new base will be smaller, but more secure against intrusion (Particularly from the arch-villain Formiciman and his insect minions).
During the process, I've realized something about myself - Deep down, I'm afraid of change. Perhaps that's part of why I make an effective super hero. I like my world to retain in the nice, orderly pattern which it has always held for me and work to make sure that happens. I know my wife is right about the advantages of our new location - lower cost, more protected and all the rest - but even today, the day we are slated to move our base of operations, I find myself uneasy. Something in my gut is clinging desperately to the reality which we have known for these last 2 years, even if they haven't trimmed the bushes since we moved in.
And so, I find myself asking why I can't simply accept with grace the opportunity which presents itself. Is this, somehow, symbolic of something greater? We had hoped to fill our larger base with a larger supergroup, but we haven't had any luck. I suppose that my heart recognizes this as a measure of giving up on those hopes for the time being. Is that, perhaps, why my heart is heavy?
As supergroups and hero families flourish around us, we ask why we can't keep up. Are we doing something wrong? Are we somehow cursed to remain alone? Will a kind and merciful God finally send us what we've been asking for? Moving brings all these questions to the painful forefront of my mind.

1 comment:

Grandma Jule said...

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

(Old Testament | Isaiah 55:8 - 9)

If you think 2 years with no increase feels tough, ask Derrill sometime about GRADUATING from BYU as President of the Virgin Lips Club - - - and THEN spending 3 years at Cornell before finding *his* true love!!

Trust God. Trust that He loves you, and that He knows what is best for you. Cherish the time He is giving you to be young and in love without the complications and stress of offspring. Because once God entrusts you with a Padwyn Learner, there is no going back. Right now, you can come back to HQ from a long day saving the world, take off your mask and let your belt out; once you have a little Side-Kick watching your every move, you have to be even MORE perfect at home than you are in the public eye.

Wait patiently upon the Lord! He is helping you become the SuperDad you will need to be when that time comes.

I know it hurts. Each of us suffers that pain in our own, special Designer way. Mine was waiting 37 months (24 of them half a world apart) before two hearts could become one. It *is* worth it. Pay the price now; be rewarded with joy in dividends down the road.

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