Hypothetical birthday wish list

It might seem odd to make a birthday wish list 2 days after one's birthday, but this is being done with a purpose. This isn't a true birthday wish list but, rather, a list of things I'd love to either receive or obtain if funds for utterly-useless-but-still-cool birthday presents were unlimited. In other words, there are things I'd MUCH rather get for giftable occasions and there are far more useful things on which to spend one's money but it would be cool to have this stuff:

The Master Sword and Hylian Shield from The Legend of Zelda. Combined Cost: $120. The tunic would be nice, too, but I doubt they make that in 3XL

What gamer wouldn't want his own health and mana potions? Even if they are just well-marketed energy drinks, this would be super cool. Cost: $20 for a six-packA new, superpowerful computer (yes, with all the bells and whistles, including the lighting effects - that's the part the makes a computer upgrade fit into the "useless" category) like this one. Cost: Starts at $7,000.

Assorted Star Trek memorabilia - outfits, equipment, starship models (too bad the real thing won't be on the market for a few hundred years!), the works. Cost: maybe if I got on Bill Gates's good side . . .

Status Update

I'm sure there's at least one person out there who is eager to know why my blog hasn't had any posts lately. Alas, life really isn't very interesting right now. Emie's job continues as planned and I don't have a job - who hires somebody for 2 months, really? So, I've been devoting my time to cleaning up in the apartment, personal projects and, of course, gaming which hardly make for interesting reading. I've washed the dishes a few times, packed up a box of stuff from our bookshelf, rewritten a couple of pages of my short story, started setting up my old computer to get some prized files off of it, started making contacts in CT and . . . well . . . played a lot of games. Not much to report.
The only really noteworthy thing of late is that we've had to send in our Wii for repairs again. Back in February, we sent in the Wii for repairs - the standard cleaning so it can function with Super Smash Bros. When is came back, I noticed that the top cover - the white flap over the gamecube controller slots and memory card slots - was missing. This was not a major concern at the time, since we usually have it open anyway, since we keep our gamecube memory card plugged in.
A couple of weeks ago, for the first time since then, I decided to play one of my gamecube games and discovered a more serious problem - memory slot A no longer reads my memory card. Slot A thinks that the memory card is some other device. Slot B works, but many of my games will only look at slot A (E.G. Twilight Princess, the one I was trying to play). It worked perfectly before I sent it for cleaning. I don't know why the technicians felt it necessary to mess with that part of the Wii if all they were doing was cleaning the lens, but there's obviously something wrong here. I recently sent it off to get fixed and now I miss it.
The worst of it is, since the lady on the phone claims that they've never heard of this problem before, they're probably just going to replace the unit. This, in and of itself, wouldn't be so bad except for the probability of losing our saved game information. Emie and I have spent many hours on Animal Crossing, for example, a game for which the memory won't transfer to an SD card for safe keeping. We've recruited my brother and his wife to hang on to and tend our many virtual flowers while we're away but it would be sad to lose the rest of it. Many thanks to them as we hope for the best.

Christmas Redux: The month in review - Part 2

Okay - time to break up the chronology a bit. We're heading backwards now.

Mid-way through Christmas, my wife and I took a trip on the Polar Express (as done by the Heber Creeper railroad) It was quite the ride, with cheerful elves, cookies from Mrs. Claus, singalongs and, of course, a visit from the big man in the red suit himself, Santa Claus.

Other highlights of the Polar Express:

The elves telling their jokes - made particularly memorable as the first elf forgot his joke and got it out of order: "Where does a snowman keep his snowbank? In his money!"

Jingle bells handed out by Santa and his elves. They were targeting the little kids to give the bells to, but a bunch of us "adults" pulled an elf by the elbow and got bells, too. We paid good money for this train ride, darn it, we want a bell, too!

The "Ho-Ho-Ho" contest. Our conductor told us that, when Santa boarded the train, we should greet him in his own language. So, to show every how it was done, they invited us to come to the front and give our best "ho ho ho." After a string of kids, I approached the microphone and gave a hearty belly laugh. Emilee tells me that people sitting near her asked if I worked as a mall Santa. I don't, of course, but that doesn't mean I don't have some experience behind the red suit and whiskers . . .

As my father can tell you, our family has a long history with Santa Claus. I'm not sure how it began - perhaps it was that night when I caught Santa filling my stocking - but Santa recruited my father as one of his helpers. You see, many people operate under the misapprehension that Santa can be everywhere at once all the time. In actual fact, as Santa explained, while Santa's magic can keep his workshop running and make reindeer fly, the space/time bending magic is beyond what even he can do alone. Christmas, though, has its own special magic, and when Santa combines his power with the natural magic of Christmas, anything is possible.

In any event, Santa needs helpers to fill in for him during the rest of the year - to be his "eyes-and-ears" as it were. So, men who fit the basic physical profile and have the right kind of heart are chosen by the man himself to fill the role. Men like my father serve as Santa for parties, malls and parades, anywhere that Santa would like to be but can't come to himself.

A couple of years ago, Santa came to me and asked for my help. He told me that I'm a bit young, but that my heart is one in tune with the Christmas spirit, and that's more important than a minor thing like age. I was also recruited as one of Santa's helpers, and have been practicing my Ho-ho-ho for several years. It's an honor and a privilege to wear the red suit and a delight to see the happy faces of children visited by Santa Claus.

New Year's Eve was interesting for us this year. Instead of the traditional "go outside and make tons of noise" thing, we decided to be a little more sedate. We got a bottle of Martinelli's and turned on our Wii. Animal Crossing for the Wii has a great feature in which you can visit other people's towns, including for special events. This was how, all the way from Arizona, we were visited by my brother-in-law Brian and his clan for New Year's. Animal Crossing's celebration includes party poppers, fireworks and special music - it's a lot of fun, especially when shared with friends. On a related note, the Wii Speak makes interacting over Wii-fii . . .err . . . wi-fi much cooler and easier.

I just realized something - I left everyone in suspense a month and a half ago when I went to take my GRE exam! I scored 710 on both the verbal and the quantitative portions, for a total score of 1420. Considering that I'm in a verbal field (literature/linguistics), being in the top 98% of GRE test-takers for the verbal portion is pretty darn cool. I am so thankful, to my parents for helping to give me good academic preparation, my wife for her support and God for the many gifts which went into that score.

This leads me to the topic of graduate school applications - the very thought of which makes me feel depressed and queasy, so I think I'll pass on that for the moment, giving a thank you to my wife for her emotional support as I've been filling these darn things out. Also, a big thank you to my recommendation senders - I doubt any of you will ever read this blog, but thanks anyway.

There's more to share, but this entry is plenty long as is. See you next time!

Christmas Redux: The month in review - Part 1

Where to begin? I suppose chronological order would make the most sense.

Finals week: I'll keep this one brief. Tests were taken. Good grades were received. Several "A"s were posted to my transcript. The passive voice was used. :~)

The first day of Christmas for my wife and me occurred the weekend before Christmas with our trip to California to visit the Watson clan. Our plan was to get to California in the early evening, have mini-Christmas Dinner with Grammy and the clan, meet Grammy's new, adorable cat, open presents at Grammy's house and then head down to Santa Barbara and bed. You know what they say about plans of mice and men . . .

The weekend before Christmas marked the first GINORMOUS snowfall of the season. Through heavy snow and worse traffic, we didn't get to the airport until our plane was supposed to have left, but that was okay - the plane didn't leave until almost midnight anyway. When we reached the airport, the Departures display said that our 4:00 flight had been delayed until 9:15. We camped out near our gate, Nintendo DS and book in our respective hands, and waited. The time displayed fluctuated between 8:30 and 9:30 for a while, then they sort of gave up on updating it.
At about 9:15 or so, they announced that our plane was landing and would be disembarking shortly, eliciting great enthusiasm from the assembled passengers. In the overcrowded terminal, they announced that we should make some room, because we were about to make about 100 new friends as they got off the plane. The plane disembarked, the 100 people got off and they made another announcement. "Well, your plane's here, but we can't board you yet because there your flight attendants aren't here yet. They're in a holding pattern right now and should be landing in about half an hour." They left the door to the plane tunnel open during all this, letting cold air in (which didn't make my cold any better).

Half an hour passed. No word. After about another 15 minutes, they announced that a private jet had flipped on the runway, blocking it until they could get everything cleaned up. They told us that there were 5 planes in a holding pattern above the airport . . . make that 4, one of them just diverted to another airport and they couldn't tell us which one it was.

Long story SLIGHTLY shorter, we got to California a little after midnight. We said a quick Merry Christmas to Grammy, met her cat, headed home and got to bed at approximately 3:00 AM.

As has become a family tradition, we woke up for an early-morning choir rehearsal the next day so Emilee and I could join the ward choir at the last minute for their Christmas program. When your father's a choir director and sometimes addresses you as "My son, my friend, my tenor," how can you say no? Not that I'd want to say no - it's always a great experience to sing with Dad's choir, even if it is on 5 hours of sleep.

Christmas with the family was great - it's always nice to sit back and enjoy time with family, especially when it involves games, music and good food. On the subject of games and music, of special note is a fun game Mom got for us based on How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I set up a model of Mt. Crumpet atop which the Grinch and his sleigh sat. The basic objective of the game is to make sure that the Whos down in Whoville get their Christmas gifts. The Grinch, meanwhile, is trying to steal them all. Your secret weapon in this battle - music. Just as the Grinch's heart was touched by the song of the Whos in the village below, you can sing when the cards allow it and a special sensor below the sleigh picks up the music, sending the sleigh filled with presents down to spill out its contents, which can then be distributed to the Whos. While it's a little silly, it's a lot of fun and I'm glad we had the chance to play it together as a family. In a world of cutthroat competitive games, it's nice to play cooperatively as a family and have an excuse to sing Christmas Carols, even if the game is geared to a somewhat younger crowd.
On the subject of gifts, my wife and I are always grateful for the generosity of our respective clans. Wii games, board games, new clothes and a good pair of snow boots, books, movies and that remote control helicopter I've had on my list for years were among the wonderful things which graced the floor beneath our assorted trees.

Let me take a moment to go on a tangent here. Presents go beneath trees. Under trees. When was the last time you had your "presents on the tree?" I have issues with the lyricist who put together "I'll be Home for Christmas." It wouldn't have been that hard to put in an extra quick syllable for Under the tree, or (s)he could have done a classic Christmasy shortening and said 'Neath the tree, but the only present I've ever had On the tree is the Christmas Pickle, and even then what's "on" the tree is the thing you find in order to get the present, not the present itself.

And now I return to the circle. We returned from our extended Pre-Christmas weekend to more heavy snowfall, to the point that Emilee's mother (hereafter referred to as Mom Roach)convinced us to spend the night of Christmas Eve at their house rather than risk driving through the predicted heavy snow of Christmas Day. They had plenty of air mattresses for everyone. We arrived and watched Kung Fu Panda with Emilee's brother, Brian and Dad Roach while Emmy chatted with Mom Roach in the other room. Watching the film while lying on the air mattress assigned to us, I made an unfortunate discovery - the mattress leaked. Badly. Making use of my overly sensitive ears, we located a pair of holes on the underside of the mattress and quickly applied some duct tape. When we could locate no more holes, we refilled the mattress and got ready to sleep.

Predictably, we didn't find all of the holes. I realized that the mattress would retain air better if only one person were on it, so I moved to a comfy rocking chair and got what sleep I could. I got up a couple of times during the night to put some more air into the mattress for Emilee, but managed to get a couple of hours before our 3-year-old nephew, Isaac, woke everyone up at 6:00 to open presents. After presents were opened, Dad Roach allowed me to sack out on his bed for a few more hours. Again, thank you!

The following weekend, we were joined by Emilee's sister, Stacy, and her husband Jared. We enjoyed some games together, including Harry Potter Clue, an enjoyable variant on the timeless classic. For the first time in a very long time, I won, though it was admittedly by an unusual means. My wife went into Dumbledore's office to make her accusation and was wrong - it was revealed that Jared had forgotten that he had a particular room card in his hand which he should have shown Emilee earlier in the game. Thus, the guilty party and their weapon (Lucius Malfoy and the Sleeping Draught, if I recall correctly) were revealed - all that was left was the room.
This is when I decided to get sneaky. Since the moment anyone asked about a room which no one had in their hand would see a mad dash to Dumbledore's office to make the accusation, I passed into the Great Hall, whose card I held in my own hand. Emilee, of course, was out of the game, but had seen the real room in the secret envelope and a questioning look filled her eyes, met by a sly wink from me. Jared and Stacy both rushed to the office, Jared missing his chance by 1 step. A triumphant Stacy made her accusation and became quite upset when my trick was revealed. Jared, presumably deciding to make use of his rush to the office, made his best guess and was also wrong, leaving only me to claim the ultimate prize.

At that point, I realized that I had to make up to Stacy, so I made up a batch of ice cream with hot chocolate mix as the flavoring added to Ben and Jerry's sweet cream base. Stephen's hot cocoa mix in its many flavors makes some good mixes, so I put in a little Italian Amaretto and some Mint Marshmallow chocolate mix. It really turned out quite well, if I do say so myself.

My time grows short, so I'll have to bring you part 2 later on. In the meantime, Happy New Year!

Gamestop Grievances

Even all this time after its development, the Wii is almost impossible to find in stores, unless you are either very determined or very lucky. So, when a "refurbished" Wii was made available at our local Gamestop store, we snapped it up, congratulating ourselves on saving a few dollars. My wife also picked up Spyro: The Eternal Night for said Wii, also used. This is when the trouble began.
My wife presented me with the Wii, the WiiFit and the game as an early birthday present and I eagerly popped in the game. The game began taking me through the tutorial, and everything was going fine until I was given the instruction to thrust the "nunchuck" attachment forward to whack an enemy in mid-air. I thrusted - nothing. I thrusted harder - still nothing. I threw my shoulder out of joint - ow. And still nothing. So, we took the nunchuck back to the store and replaced it with another used one. Minor inconvenience, nothing more.
We returned with the nunchuck, I restarted the tutorial and, before anything else, I tested the nunchuck. Worked like a charm. So I got through the beginning of the tutorial again, to the part where I needed to use the maneuver and thrust my nunchuck forward - nothing. I thrust, shook, tapped, jabbed and flicked the nunchuck - nothing.
I rebooted again and, through experimentation, discovered that the nunchuck thrust maneuver worked perfectly until I hit an enemy, at which point it gave up. Aha, I said to myself, it must be a software issue! So we took another trip to Gamestop and exchanged Spyro for another game, Mercury Meltdown Revolution. Avoiding the issue of the nunchuck entirely, this game uses the internal tilt sensor on the Wii to tilt a table as you guide a blob of mercury through a circuitous route, similar to the old game Marble Madness. I popped in the game with great anticipation (though somewhat less zeal than before) and started up the tutorial.
This time, the problem was more immediately evident - the table was stuck. It seemed to believe that the Wiimote was perpetually tilted down and to the right. Only if shaken VERY, VERY hard did the table do so much as twitch. Aha, I said to myself, It's a problem with the Wiimote this time! After trying Nintendo's online technical assistance (replace batteries, resynch Wiimote, reset Wiimote, hit Wiimote button-side down into the palm of your hand, etc.) we made another pilgrimage to Gamestop and returned the Wiimote, picking up another used one in its place.
With fingers crossed and a degree of consternation I started up MMR again - and the Wiimote worked. Everything finally worked, and it looks as though we will continue to have fun with MMR for quite some time.
Now, up until this point in the narrative, I can imagine what you're probably thinking. It's not Gamestop's fault, you just misdiagnosed the problem. But wait, there's more!
One of the options with the WiiFit is to run together, each person with a Wiimote in their pocket to track their running speed. My wife and I decided that it would be fun to do this together, so we used the last bit of the Fat Fund to buy another Wiimote (Used, of course - it's $5 less!). We brought it home, synched it up and ran together. The new Wiimote seemed to be responding sluggishly, since my wife quickly fell behind, for all that she pumped her legs like they had hyperactive hydraulics. We then tried using it for other purposes and discovered that neither the tilt sensor nor the light signal on the front were functioning up to spec. Oh, crud I thought to myself, not again! After trying all the available tips, it was back to gamestop *yet again* and got *another* Wiimote, this time a new one - we had seen enough of Gamestop for a while.

Moral of the story: Don't get used stuff at Gamestop. Just don't. You'll spend more on gas than you'll save getting it used.

Happy Birthday to Moi

It's been quite an exciting last few days for me - my birthday was on the 20th, but we've been celebrating since several days before.

A bit of explanation is required at this point. First of all, it must be known that I am NOT the svelte superhero I once was. The picture of me in the blue spandex is a few years old, and my wife and I realized that the time had come to take seriously our goal to drop a few pounds.

My father and I, to that end, had a weight-loss contest last year, which I won, losing 30 pounds (10 of which I have since gained back) and gaining $500. The question since then has been what to do with that money.

I considered putting it toward an upgrade on our computer at HQ, but my departure from Paragon City has made that a less crucial need. Discussing this, we decided that the money should go toward something which, while entertaining, would encourage further weight lossThus we come to the aforementioned Action Simulator - a Nintendo Wii and Wii Fit.

In addition to being a lot of fun, this combination provides some powerful tools to help develop and maintain good health. This isn't technically a birthday present, since it was purchased with money from the "fat fund," but it's been a major feature of my birthday. (More on this in my next post)

The other big feature of my birthday is the Wheel of Time series (commented on before here). My parents bought me the Entire Series as a birthday present - I've got a lot of reading to do, as does my wife.

We're both looking forward to some time in sunny California, at my parents' invitation. It will be nice to see the family again, and see what they've done with the old homestead. Temperaturewise, the "high" for our trip is expected to be 72 degrees. Compared to the high 90s we've been getting here, it will be a sweet relief.